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Carl’s JR. Petitions Merriam-Webster to Add ‘Condimeat’ to Dictionary

If you enjoy putting meat on your meat, what exactly do you call that?

Some would call it a topping. But Carl’s Jr. believes that this combination of animal proteins and animal proteins should have its own term, and that term is “condimeat.”

So sure, in fact, is Carl’s Jr., that it has started a petition on Change.org, targeted at the Merriam-Webster dictionary in order to complete its mission.

What exactly is the definition being proposed? According to Carl’s Jr., a “condimeat” is “meat on meat, the additional protein one puts on top of an already protein-packed, 100% black angus charbroiled beef burger.”

But why is this fast food chain so desperate for “condimeat” to be added to the dictionary? Could it be that it is simply a shameless attempt to sell its brand-new Pastrami Thickburger—a black angus charbroiled burger served with a healthy topping of pastrami? The world may never know…

To be fair, Carl’s Jr. has a point: if “zoodles” is a word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, how should we set the bar for word-thiness? While we at Genius Kitchen fully understand the meaning of “zoodles,” we have never in our lives heard somebody use it seriously in a sentence.

Whether or not the chain will succeed, we do not yet know. If not, we’ll always have bacon.

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